ego

stop!
no more clapping
no ...
help!
the sound so deafening
yet so sweet
more please?
feel that sensation
of the ego growing with each clap

the artist's way

>

> the artist's way by julia cameron
>
> learn to call things by the right names
> do not call the inability to start laziness. call it fear.
>
> artist date -- block out 2 hours a week to take your inner artist
> out for a date. allow no interlopers
>
> writing goes much better when we don't work at it so much, when we
> give ourselves permission to just hang out on the page. don't try
> to write too carefully.
>
> we all have time to write. we have time to write the minute we are
> willing to write badly. the obsession with time is really an
> obsession with perfection. write with love, not with a net
> underneath to protect u.
>
> art is not putting something up but putting something down.書下
> ろし.
>
> wanting to know where we are going is often how we fail to go
> anywhere at all
>
> anything worth doing is worth doing badly. once we accept this, our
> options widen.
>
> the unexamined life is not worth living, the unlived life is not
> worth examining
>
> most of us are practiced at taking ourselves out of risk.
>
> connect to a world outside of us, so as to lose the obsessive self-
> focus of self-exploration.
>
> we must be vigilant. we must be alert. we cannot control everyone
> around us, but we can learn whose company is good for us and whose
> company causes us to shrivel and shrink.
>
> more good stuff are destroyed by bad criticism than bad stuff helped
> by good criticism
>
> part of husbanding our talent lies in finding those who are generous
> enough to reflect us back as talented
>
> daily writing, writing simply for the sake of writing, is like
> keeping a pot of soup on the back of the stove: always there ready
> to be tasted, to be added to, nourishing, savory, life-sustaining.
> honesty, observation and imagination are the three ingredients.
>
> hatching an idea is like baking bread. need time to rise. poke too
> much, check too much at the beginning and it will not rise
>
> life is non-linear; leap, the next net will appear
>
> the trick is setting the jumps low enough that our internal artist
> (or child) can be lured into action, into cooperation.
>
> each day must remain an exploratory expedition. we must remain
> tourists on our home terrain
>
> observed closely enough, all of life is interesting. small moments
> have large impact. when we practice the art of close observation, we
> gain an emotional palette that has more shades, more possibilities,
> than the screaming extremes of black and white headlines declaring
> catastrophe and crisis.
>
> Allow errors. they will reveal as insights later.
>
> complete the following sentence : If I don't have to do it
> perfectly, I would try ____________.
>
> if we are engaged in making something new, we are less invested in
> the reception of something old.
>
> most of the time when we are blocked in an area of our life, it is
> because we feel safe that way. we may not be happy but we know what
> we are -- unhappy.
>
> we become frightened when we have "big decision" to make. we must
> train ourselves to think small. inch ahead in small steps, making
> small decisions.
>
> when we r unable to work, we can work at the work of getting ready
> to work.
>
> as an artist, we wish we could always work well. but, "well" we
> can't control. we do have control of " always". we keep working on
> our art and let the well appear as it happens.
>
> it is so easy to rush ahead into fear and panic. it is so easy to
> miss the beauty that awaits us in the here and now.
>
> so much of life is like taking a photograph. we must pause to catch
> the moment and savour our delight.
>
> real artists make art. if u are making art, u are a real artist.
> over time, u may become a better one, more skilled in your craft.
>
> we r stucked not because lack of ideas. it's because we have too
> many ideas. the ideas get stucked trying to get out. we need to
> extract them slowly and gently
>
> routinely create art: write, draw, paint, anything. do not wait for
> the moment of creative insight. u have to keep doing.
>
> jealously is always a mask for fear. as a root, jealousy is a
> stingy emotion.
>
> creativity flourishes when we have a sense of safety and self-
> acceptance
>
> centre stage belongs to people who are willing to move there
>
> writing to ourselves, we r taking notes as to the notes we are
> playing. we r hearing ourselves as we sing our song. we r
> instrumental in our own change, not merely players but conductors/
> composers as well
>
> start with being nice to yourself. when we place ourselves too low
> in the pecking order, we feel henpacked and we feel peckish. when we
> undervalue ourselves, we bury ourselves in lives not our own.
> meeting the expectations of others, we may misplace our own values.
> violating our true selves, we soon feel worthless and undeserving.
> when we are what we truly are and say what we truly mean, we stop
> shouldering the responsibility for everyone else's shortfalls and
> become accountable to ourselves.
>
> the phrase "it would take a miracle" is often used to refuse
> inviting one
> if we do not act in the direction of our dream, we are only dreaming
>
> when we shift our inner statement from 'i'd love to' to 'i am going
> to', we shift out of victim to adventurer
>
> when we surrender to becoming what we are meant to be instead of
> trying to convince the world of who we think we are, we find our
> proper shoes and can walk in them comfortably.
>
> how do we know how large we can be if we do not know how large we are?
>
> creativity requires activity.
> take small daily action instead of indulging in the big question
>
> artificial acceptance of people and circumstances we resent makes us
> ill tempered. a little honest self-love does wonders
>
> it is all too easy for our life to be dictated to us by others. we
> can so easily wait to be chosen. such passivity invites despair.
>
> a daily habit cures proscrastination
>
> when we are focused on the possible, we are able to ignore the
> probable. the odds of publishing a novel are a hell of a lot higher
> if u have written a novel.
>
> when we are rejected, we must ask, "what next?", and not, "why me?"
>
> the ego hates to rest. we must serve our souls, not our egos. our
> souls need rest. so often we try to gird ourselves to face a harsh
> and difficult world when we might instead gentle both ourselves and
> our world just by slowing down.
>
> fear asks that we check something for clarity. fear requires action,
> not assurance.
>
> life is made of small sweetnesses, and they come to us when we are
> willing to be little, instead of big.
>
> in times of pain, when future is terrifying to contemplate and past
> painful to remember, NOW is a good place to be. each moment, taken
> alone, was always bearable.
>
> when faced with a loss, immediately take one small action to support
> your artist. like a small child, out artist needs mommying.
>
>
>

ballerina on a musical box

are we not
like a ballerina dancing
on a musical box
so pretty
so elegant
so tired!
can we stop
for a minute?
no more winding
please sir
I need to rest

Switch

Switch by Chip&Dan Heath

Think about these:

1. what looks like a people problem is often a situation problem (change the environment and people's behaviour change as well)

2. what looks like laziness is often exhaustion (mental)

3. what looks like resistance is often lack of clarity (rational brain)

For anything to change, someone has to start acting differently

all change effort boils down to whether u can get people to start behaving in a new way

in the book "the happiness hypothesis ", Jonalton Haidt says that our emotional sideis an Elephant while our rational side is the Rider.

for change to happen, both the Rider and the Elephant must agree to the same route

reach the Rider but not the Elephant, you will have direction without motivation

reach only the Elephant, u will have an Elephant charging around in circles

Self-control is an exhaustible resource. we burnt up self-control in a wide variety of situations.

when people try to change things, they're usually tinkering with behaviour that have become automatic.

change is hard because people wear themselves out. they've exhausted the mental muscles needed to make a big change, trying to think creatively, to inhibit impulses, to persist in face of failure or frustration


Address the following when u want to change someone or some organization:

1. direct the Rider (rational brain)
a. find the bright spot (clone what's working)
b. script the critical moves (don't think big picture, think specific behaviours)
c. point to the destination

2. motivate the Elephant (emotion)
a. find the feeling (knowing is not enough)
b. shrink the change (break into small doable steps that do not spook the Elephant)
c. grow your people (cultivate identity and growth mindset)

3. shape the Path
a. tweak the environment (change the environment to allow behaviour to change)
b. build habits (once habits are formed, they are not tax the Rider)
c. rally the herd (behaviour is contagious)


1. Direct the Rider
- find the bright spot. don't just agonize over problems. what's working?
- over analyzing leads to paralysis. - - - rider needs clear directions. bright spots provide direction for the Rider, also hope and motivation for the Elephant.
- rather than spending all your time dwelling into what do not work, spend time finding out why something work
- even success can look like problem to an overactive Rider
- BIG problem, small solution
- see Marcus Buckingham books on making most of your strength
- face with uncertainty, the Elephant goes with the filiar path (status quo)
- ambiguity tires out the Rider, putting change effort at risk
- when u want someone to adopt a new way, u need to explain the new way clearly so that he can follow
- set behavioral goals, not ambiguous ones like u must eat healthily
- destination postcard
- when u describe a compelling destination, you're helping to correct one of the Rider's great weakness -- the tendency to get loss in analysis.
- black and White goals so no hiding
- strong beginning and strong end, plus good behaviour script. don't worry too much about the middle


2. motivate the Elephant

-- most people think change happens in this order : Analyze-Think-Change. this might work in normal circumstances. but for big change, the sequence is actually : See-Feel-Change.-- self-evaluation involves interpretation, which is where the Elephant intrudes. the Elephant tends to take a rosier picture
-- on a daily basis, negative emotions help us avoid risks and contront problems. but when change is needed, which is not your typical stone-in-shoe situation, a "burning platform" won't cut it.-- people find it more motivating to be partly finished with a longer journey than to be at the starting gate of a shorter one.-- to get a reluctant Elephant to get moving, u need to shrink the change (lower the bar)
-- baby steps (eg. cleaner room, not clean room)
-- most people try to solve the optimization problem (rational and logical) and not the Elephant problem. that's when u lose control of the emotional Elephant
-- select small wins that are (1) meaningful and (2) within immediate reach. if can't be both, go for (2).
-- the Elephant grows as the change shrinks
-- research of James march: two basic models of decision making - consequences model or identity model.-- use "foot-in-the-door" technique to build identity
-- people are receptive to developing new identities, and identities grow from small beginnings
-- growth mindset is needed (falling down is a way to learn; not failure) to grow the new identity
-- no failure; just not yet. giving an F implies closure. but a NY (not yet) means got to keep doing to get a better grade


3. shape the Path

--- "even a lost, angry driver who is hopelessly late for an appointment will stop dutifully for a red light"
--- to make change to stick, we've got to think about shaping the Path
--- Fundamental Attribution Error, an error lies in our inclination to attribute people's behaviour to the way they are rather than to the situation they are in.
--- make the journey easier. create a downhill slope and give them a push
--- tweaking the environment is making good behaviour a liitle easier and wrong one harder. don't need to appeal to the Rider or spook the Elephant. not everything is carrot or stick situation
--- what looks like a character problem is often correctible when u change the environment
--- one of the subtle ways in which our environment acts on us is by reinforcing (or deterring) our habits.
--- set action triggers to help u build habits
--- as u try to make a switch, the hardest struggle will be to maintain your motivation, to keep Elephant on the road. this puts huge burden on your Rider. we need to use the environment to relieve the Rider's burden
--- in ambiguous situations, we all look to others for cues about how to behave. if no one knows for sure, everyone just freeze. if someone does something, most will follow
--- how to create a herd? publicise if norms are on your side
--- tweak the environment to create free spaces to facilitate changes


keep the switch going

- while a long journey starts with a single step, a single step doesn't guarantee the long journey
- positive reinforcement to encourage the second, third, forth steps
- change is not an event, it's a process
- snowballing effect; mere exposure effect; cognitive dissonance (people don't like to act on one way and think in another)


12 common obstacles

1. people don't see the need to change
--> find the feeling; create empathy; tweak environment

2. "not invented here"
--> find identity; bright spots

3. we should be doing something but we are stuck in neutral gear
--> find the Elephant; destination postcards; script the moves

4. the environment has shifted and we need to overcome old patterns
--> create new habits so that to reduce clashes between Rider and Elephant; action triggers; script the moves

5. people not motivated
--> sell "new" identity; destination postcards; lower the bar; rally the herds; create downslopes to facilitate

6. I'll change tomorrow
--> shrink the change; action trigger; make yourself accountable to someone

7. people keep saying "it will never work"
--> find bright spots; small victories; carve out free space to allow those who belief to grow

8. I know what I should be doing, but I'm not doing it
--> rally the Elephant; small steps; create paths; create herd

9. you don't know my people, they hate change
--> this is a fundamental attribution error

10. lost momentum
--> build habits; motivate the Elephant; growth mindset

11. it's just too much
--> shrink the change; growth mindset

12. everyone agree but nothing is happening
--> clarify the steps; set the path; find bright spots

www.switchthebook.com/resources

Friends

a friend is one to whom u can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away. -- anonymous

The meaning of it all

Richard Feynman, The Meaning of it all

• To Everyman is given the key to the gates of heaven. The same key opens the gates of hell.

• The laws of science are guessed laws. Good till proven wrong by more precise experiments.  The scientific mind tries to prove himself wrong as quickly as possible.

• It is better to say something and not be sure than not to say anything at all.

• Freedom to doubt is important in sciences and in other fields.  Admitting that we do not know and maintaining perpetually the attitude that we do not know the direction necessarily to go permit a possibility of alteration, of thinking, of new contributions and new discoveries for the problem of developing a way to do what we want ultimately, even when we do not know what we want.

• There is a tendency to use what can be measured as a criterion

• Reporting should be done properly to reflect the subject, as explained by the person being interviewed.

Made to stick

made to stick -- by chip and dan Heath

1. simplicity
-- core plus compact
-- in one sentence
-- use schemas to simplify , eg, grapefruit to describe pomelo
-- use existing concepts
-- useful tag line more important than accurarcy of concept

2. unexpectedness
-- best way to get attention is to break a pattern/schema
-- to keep people's attention is to make delivery interesting
-- opening gaps and then filling them
-- surprise without insight is not useful
-- common sense is the enemy of stickiness; common = forgetable
-- good service is common sense -> gift wrap item bought at competitor is unexpectedly good service
-- to keep attention, try a mystery
-- curiosity happens when we feel a gapin our knowledge
-- if people think they know everything, it is hard to make gap theory work
-- if there is not enough knowledge, need to fill up first till a gap

3. concreteness
-- ideas must be in terms of actions or sensory information
-- think Velcro, more hooks stick better
-- abstract ideas hard to stick
-- curse of knowledge -> think abstractly and unable to be concrete
(tappers and listeners)
-- concreteness makes target transparent
-- think of as many white things in 15 seconds; repeat now things in fridge

4. credibility
-- ideas need to have own credentials, need people to try and buy
-- powerful sources of credibility are family, personal experience, faith, celebrities
-- sometimes, anti-authorities are better than authorities as they might be seen as more trustworthy. eg you overheard someone telling a friend of a new shampoo versus Gong Li in a commercial
-- internal credibility (by adding localised details and vivid details, even if not relevant)
-- statistics should be used to illustrate a relationship
-- use statistics as inputs, not outputs-- example of an important accomplishment instead of overall statistics
-- make a claim and ask people to verify-- testable credentials (eg, are u better off compared to 4 years ago? in election campaign)

5. emotions
-- must appeal to the heart
-- the most basic way to make people care is to form an association between something they don't yet care about and something they do care about
-- appeal to self interest (sell best seeds or best lawn?)
-- sometimes appeal to self interest backfires if it contradicts certain principles or a treasured group interest
-- appealing to identity

6. stories
-- right story makes people act
-- mental simulation improves performance; story causes mental simulation heightens stickiness
-- 3 basic plots --> challenge plots (beating odds), connection plots (relationships), creativity plots
-- people tend to remember stories rather than statistics

The main culprits inhibiting an idea to be sticky --
a. burying the lead
b. curse of knowledge
c. too focus on presenting and forgets the message
d. decision paralysis from too many choices

For an idea to stick, you must make the audience:
a. pay attention (unexpected)
b. understand and (concrete)
c. agree/believe (credible)
d. care (emotional)
e. be able to act on it (story)