Sunday, October 11, 2015

Six A to Parenting

Six A to Parenting



Acceptance and Appreciation are two important foundations of the parent-child relationship "House". Acceptance focuses on Being, that the existence of the child itself is of primary importance. Appreciation focuses on effort, that the trying itself is all important whilst the outcome is secondary. 


Affection and Availability are two important pillars to the House. It is the child's views of affection and availability that counts.  It's not what the parents think they have given but what the child feels he receive.


After a firm foundation is built and strong pillars are added, we them can begin to finish the House with Accountability and Authority as ceiling and roof.  While it is important for a House to have proper ceiling and good roofing, we must be careful not to over burden the House with too heavy a top.



Acceptance 

-- is to acknowledge that every kid is unique and special

-- is to treasure the child's existence and not what he does

-- helps the kids to accept themselves

-- builds security and self worth


Appreciate

-- is about catching the kids doing something right

-- focuses on efforts and not the end results

-- allows kids to feel good about themselves

-- helps the kid not to grow into a perfectionist


Affection

-- reinforces the presence of both parents and kids

-- can be seen in the awesome power of a simple hug


Availability (LOVE is actually spelled T-I-M-E)

-- is making time to be a hero

-- is spending time (kids do not distinguish quality versus quantity) 


Accountability

-- helps develop self discipline and decisiveness by setting limits

-- starts with parents (accountable parents raise accountable kids)


Authority

-- is knowing when to stop so that parents don't drive the kids crazy



Tuesday, October 6, 2015

凡事、皆莫过头

凡事、皆莫过头


勇敢过头,就成鲁莽;


机敏过头,就成圆滑;


执着过头,就成偏执;


自信过头,就成狂妄;


老实过头,就成迂腐;


精明过头,就成愚昧;


贪婪过头,就成腐败;


随意过头,就成胡来;


放心过头,就成放任;


谦虚过头,就成虚伪;


持重过头,就成呆板;


谦让过头,就成软弱;


宽容过头,就成纵容;


宠爱过头,就成溺爱;


计划过头,就成犹豫;


理想过头,就成空想;


讲理过头,就成计较。

Home wisdom

Home wisdom


I asked myself how to handle life.  My HOUSE 🏠 gave me the answers:


ROOF says : Aim high ✈


FAN says : Be cool 💨


CLOCK says: Value time ⏰


CALENDAR says :  Be up to date 📅


WALLET says : Save now for the future 💰


MIRROR says : Always observe yourself ⬜


WALL says : Share others' load 💪


WINDOW says :  Expand your vision 😳


FLOOR says :  Always be down to earth 🌍


STAIRS says : Watch each step you take 🏃🏽


TOILET BOWL says :  When it's time to let go,  just let it go  .....  🚽

醒 来

醒  来


作者:释隆奇 虎啸星宇



从生到死有多远?

呼吸之间

从迷到悟有多远?

一念之间


从爱到恨有多远?

无常之间


从心到心有多远?

天地之间



人生 就是这样一个苏醒的过程。

这个世界 层层叠叠地向我们展开。

这一刻迷离的面目,下一刻 就会清晰;

这一刻 不能宽恕的人,下一刻就会得到原谅;

这一刻 不能接受的事实,下一刻就会变得容易理解。

是的,就这样,

我们不断消除着自我的狭隘、偏激和片面,

活到老,醒悟到老。 



人生快不快乐 看心情,

心情好不好看心态。

快乐的人不是没有痛苦,

只是 他们都修炼了一颗强大的心。

拥有强大的内心,

就不是生活左右你,而是你 驾驭生活。



如果 想把世界看得清楚,

就让你的心 保持纯净。

如果 想把世界看得开阔,

就让你的心 变得宽广。



人生一世

不要天天混日子,也不要天天熬日子,

而要天天享受日子。

心境简单了,就有心思经营生活;

生活简单了,就有时间享受人生。


活得简单 不难,

只需懂得 为真诚而活,为美好而生,为幸福而做。

多一分快乐,少一分忧伤;多一分真实,少一分虚伪;多一分悠闲,少一分忙乱。



不是每个擦肩而过的人 都会相识,

也不是每个相识的人 都会牵挂,

至少,我们在今生,在某个地方,

在一转身的时候 没有错过。

感谢上天给我们的机缘,

不要忘了 你的世界我来过。



人生每一步,都要付出代价。

这世上的芸芸众生,谁不是这样呢。

任何事情,总有答案。

与其烦恼,不如 顺其自然。

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Productivity ninja: 5 powerful tips for getting mo

Productivity ninja: 5 powerful tips for getting more stuff done

1. Know when you're at your best

And plan accordingly. To be a productivity ninja focus less on time management, and more on managing your energy.

Charlie Munger, vice-chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, used a system like this to make sure he was always growing. He identified the hours when he was at his best \ and then routinely stole one of those peak hours for learning.

Charlie Munger hit upon one strategy when he was a young lawyer. He decided that whenever his legal work was not as intellectually stimulating as he'd like, "I would sell the best hour of the day to myself." He would take otherwise billable time at the peak of his day and dedicate it to his own thinking and learning. "And only after improving my mind \ only after I'd used my best hour improving myself \ would I sell my time to my professional clients." [The Idea Hunter: How to Find the Best Ideas and Make them Happen]

Are you a morning lark? A night owl? Tired after lunch? Best after a nap? Track what works for you and plan around that.


2. Get enough sleep

No, you can't cheat yourself on sleep. Cutting corners on siesta time has a cascade of negative effects, not the least of which is making you less proactive.

Irrespective of how well you were able to get on with your day after that most recent night without sleep, it is unlikely that you felt especially upbeat and joyous about the world. Your more-negative-than-usual perspective will have resulted from a generalized low mood, which is a normal consequence of being overtired. More important that just the mood, this mind-set is often accompanied by decreases in willingness to think and act proactively, control impulses, feel positive about yourself, empathize with others, and generally use emotional intelligence.[The Secret World of Sleep: The Surprising Science of the Mind at Rest]

In fact, some people's emotions are so disturbed after a night of sleep deprivation that they could be classified as psychopaths. That might make you into a good real ninja but not a productivity ninja.

All of these things combine to change the way they score on clinical mood disorder scales, often tipping perfectly normal people over the edge into the clinically relevant zone, so that, if tested on that particular day, they could be classified as depressed or even as psychopaths. [The Secret World of Sleep: The Surprising Science of the Mind at Rest]

What's the best way to improve your sleep? Learn how astronauts sleep.


3. Distractions will make you stupid

Students whose classroom was situated near a noisy railroad line ended up academically a full year behind students with a quiet classroom. When the noise was dampened, the performance difference vanished.

To measure the impact of this noise on academic performance, two researchers noted that only one side of the school faced the tracks, so the students in classrooms on that side were particularly exposed to the noise but were otherwise similar to their fellow students. They found a striking difference between the two sides of the school. Sixth graders on the train side were a full year behind their counterparts on the quieter side. Further evidence came when the city, prompted by this study, installed noise pads. The researchers found this erased the difference: now students on both sides of the building performed at the same level.[Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much]

Distractions might mean you don't notice gorillas walking by. Seriously.

Here's how to improve focus.


4. Work somewhere that facilitates productivity

Have a spot where you're usually productive? Go there. How about a place where you always screw around and waste time? Avoid it.

Wendy Wood, a professor at USC explains how your environment activates habits \ without your conscious mind even noticing.

Habits emerge from the gradual learning of associations between an action and outcome, and the contexts that have been associated with them. Once the habit is formed, various elements from the context can serve as a cue to activate the behavior, independent of intention and absent of a particular goal... Very often, the conscious mind never gets engaged. [Habit: The 95% of Behavior Marketers Ignore]

Context matters more than you think.


5. Believe in what you do

Sounds like a corny cliche, but the research supports it. What happens when you see your work as a calling, not just a job that pays the bills? You are more thorough, engaged \ and happier.

The research of psychologists Amy Wrzesniewski and Jane Dutton shows just how much of our mind-set \ what we choose to focus on \ affects our experience of work. Wrzesniewski and Dutton followed a group of hospital cleaners, and found that some of the cleaners experienced their work as a job \ as something they did solely for the paycheck \ and described it as boring and meaningless. But another group perceived the same work as a calling \ and experienced the hours they spent at work as engaging and meaningful. This second group of hospital cleaners did things differently from the first group. They engaged in more interactions with nurses, patients, and visitors, taking it upon themselves to make everyone they came in contact with feel better. Generally, they saw their work in its broader context: They were not merely cleaning the wards and removing the trash, but were contributing to the health of patients and the smooth functioning of the hospital. [Choose the Life You Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness]

How do you do this? It's about interacting with the people who experience the benefits of your work.

Wharton professor Adam Grant did research trying to motivate employees at a university call center. When call center workers were shown letters written by grateful students who had received scholarships funded by the workers' calls, their motivation soared. What pushed their motivation even higher? Speaking with those students.

When callers interacted with one scholarship recipient in person, they were even more energized. The average caller doubled in calls per hour and minutes on the phone per week. By working harder the callers reached more alumni, resulting in 144 percent more alumni donating each week. Even more strikingly, revenue quintupled: callers averaged $412 before meeting the scholarship recipient and more than $2000 afterward. [Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success]

Never, ever underestimate the power of the right attitude.

Friday, April 18, 2014

順風時若是無知

順風時若是無知
逆流時無從瀟灑

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Heng Chee Meng anti-scam 3-point checklist

Heng Chee Meng anti-scam 3-point checklist

1. Is the deal too good to be true?
If answer is No, ends here.
If answer is Yes, go to Q2.

2. Why so good deal come to find me?
If can't answer, ends here.
If can find answer, it is likely to be Q3.

3. What does the person want from me after giving me such good deal? Am I willing to trade that?
If answer is No, ends here.
If answer is Yes, you should find by this time the answer to Q1 is NO.